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05 April 2010 @ 01:20
11. Rooftops  
SuJu 100 challenge
Theme #11-Rooftops
Title: A Letter of Feelings
Pairing: Hankyung/Sungmin
Warnings: Character Death D:
Word count: 718
Genre: AU, angst
Summary: A letter from one to the other, but I’m not revealing who’s who ‘til the end~
A/N: I’m sooo sorry for writing this D: but it had to be done~ also, apologies for any upset caused~

To my life, my love, my best friend~
Life is different, now you’re gone. I guess you’re in a better place now; you were always too good for this world; but everyone still misses you like crazy.
You were always so cheerful, possibly the most cheerful person in existence. You were the ray of sunshine in everyone’s life; nobody could bear to be sad with you around. Nothing ever got you down; not when they didn’t call you back, not when a date went wrong, not when you got turned down, and if it did, you never let it show. You just had this amazing ability to shrug things off, and look on the bright side. “Plenty more fish” you always used to say and I couldn’t bring myself to disagree with you because, well, because it was you. I didn’t, and still don’t to this day, know how the hell you kept composure like that, maybe it’s just the kind of person you were, and that’s why everyone loved you so much. But I guess everything just got on top of you and that’s why you did it.
Look, there’s something I need to say but-
I just need to get this out in the open and-
I wish I’d said something sooner, before you-
I know it’s too late now. I know your never gonna get the chance to read this, but I just need to say it, to someone, to anyone, and most of all, to you.
I…I’m in love with you.
And you have no idea how much I regret not saying that to you when you were still alive and I’m kicking myself so much and I just wish you were here to comfort me and to tell me everything’s alright and to be my shoulder to cry on. But your not and damn it, I want you to be, because, without you, my only ray of sunshine is gone. Forever.
When I heard the knock on the door of our shared apartment, I was confused; I wondered who could be calling at this time of night and what they could possibly want. When I eventually got to the door and opened it opened the door and saw it was the police and instantly, there was this tight knot in my stomach and I feared the worst. And when they told me about what had happened, that you’d thrown yourself of the roof of the bus station, the world collapsed around me. The pain I felt was almost unbearable, like someone was stabbing me in the chest and all that remained was this huge gaping hole where my heart used to be.
They asked me to identify your body, and of course I agreed, because although I’d never seen a dead body before, and didn’t really want to, I just had to see your face one last time. They lead me into a cold, white room, and there you were, lying there, all perfect and as beautiful as I remembered. I couldn’t hold back anymore. The sobs ripped out of me like they never had before, each one tearing at fresh hole in my chest. When I was done crying, I kissed you gently on the forehead, told you I loved you, and silently walked away.
The next weeks were a blur. I had no idea what to do with myself. I just walked aimlessly round the apartment like a ghost. I constantly went into your room, smelled your clothes, sat on your bed, and looked through old pictures of us. It just seemed so unfair that I was here living my life when you were no longer here to live it with me and-
I’m sorry, I’m rambling. This is stupid, writing all my feelings to a dead person, but at least, in a way, I’ve told you my true feelings, and it’s a tiny bit of the weight lifted from my shoulders.
I don’t believe that there’s another like you in this world. Everyone else is just too immeasurable. Your perfect smile, your cheerful disposition, your witty, sarcastic sense of humour, nothing comes close and never will.
Sorry for the tear stains and scruffy handwriting, I tried to keep this neat but it’s too crushing writing to someone you knows never coming back. I’m sorry, for everything. I hope you’re well, wherever you are. And I promise you that I will never, ever forget you, for as long as I live.
‘Til we meet again,
Hankyung x
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Cajun Dance Party - The Race | Powered by Last.fm
lindeyyylindeyyy on 5th April 2010 10:10 (UTC)
omfg DDDD: ;____________________; how could you? DDD:

but lol, it's hangmin, why do you have kyuhyun at the end? :L:L:L:L

your witty, sarcastic sense of humour

this is so kyuhyun but w/e XD

omgggg ;~~;
Katiei_love_kibum on 5th April 2010 12:29 (UTC)
oh crap, crap crap, i need to change that D:
:L and sorry, i'll write you some drabbles to cheer you up :)